Dear Future Husband,
I am currently in my third year in university, and I was in a Spanish class when I thought to write to you. I’m a big fan of notes so much so that I still have letters written to me from people since 2017. So much so that when I turned 18, I wrote a letter to my 19- year old self. Yes, I opened it when I turned 19 and I bawled at my growth and laughed at the weird things I wrote. I know this isn’t handwritten, but I write this in hopes that one day, I will be seated in your arms and we will laugh about the silly things you’re about to read or take time to reflect on them.
I’ll start by saying this. I really, really hope you don’t like Semo. It will make me question your taste, and I wouldn’t want to do that because you being with a woman like me would mean you have great taste. But if for whatever reason you like it, that’s fine. On days we can’t reach a common ground, and you want to eat Semo so bad, I’ll be right by your side probably turning my Eba or something more exciting as you make your Semo. That’s cute in itself.
Also, I call dibs on the left side of the bed. It’s the position where I’m the one on the inside. It’s been a thing since I was a kid. Somehow, it gave me a feeling of protection. The idea was that if by any chance something came into the room, I won’t be the first one they see — and even if they were particularly out to get me, the person on the outside would fight for me first. It’s not for that selfish reason anymore, but I guess I just got used to it.
You’ll love my mom, and I can tell you that for sure. She’s super kind and easy-going, and she just might go out of her way to ensure you feel right at home. I’m sure you’ll love my dad, too. If you have a great sense of humour, you’re in luck. He’s hilarious, thoughtful, and he’s super observant (for just in case you ever think of moving funny). But overall, he’ll be your guy. In turn, I hope your parents will be fond of me. I think it’s the movies, but one of my biggest fears is having a mother-in-law who wouldn’t think I’m good or beautiful or tall or smart enough for her son. I will want your mom to take me as I am and love me enough to see me as a daughter. I want to talk with her, laugh with her, and give her so many hugs because you know that’s my thing.
I look forward to gisting with you at the end of every day. I want to hear and laugh about the crazy things that happened during the day, and the random thoughts you had. I want to hear about the things that make you happy, the things that bother you, and the things that make you angry. At this point, you know I thoroughly enjoy listening to you, empathizing with you, and dying of laughter with you.
At the age of 18, I was sure I didn’t want kids because the prospect of bringing a child into this world we live in was scary to me. But now, I would like to have 2 to 3 children, and I hope that together, we will dedicate our time to raise these kids with Christian discipline. It might surprise you to know that I started praying for them since I was somewhere around the age of 19.
Being with an unbeliever is not an option for me, so if you’re reading this with me in your arms then it’s because I saw that your love for me was somewhat close to the love Jesus has for me. I want to pray with you and for you. On the day I started writing this, I coincidentally had to do a study on Ephesians 5. You know that chapter? The one that irks people sometimes? It has the verse where Paul wrote a whole section about marriage. The one where wives have to submit. I doubt people know that it didn’t end there, because Paul goes ahead to say that husbands have to in return, love their wives enough to the point where they sacrifice just like Jesus loved the church enough to give Himself up for it. Essentially Paul is saying that, I have to love you enough to submit to you (that is, bring my strength under control), and you have to love me enough to possibly give yourself up for me. Why should it irk anyone, then? You husbands clearly have a lot more to lose (plus, I think I know why Paul said this. Let’s talk about it after reading this letter).
So, I hope that our love for each other is informed and inspired by the Holy Spirit. Only Him can make us love, and be kind to each other so selflessly. I hope that God will be the center of our home. I hope you will love God more than you will love me. I hope that even though we will have individual lives, we will work together as a single unit, completely devoted to each other.
Also, I currently love my space. I appreciate time spent with people, but I still like to go back to my room to be on my own and not come out for at least a day, so the thought of having to live with someone — who I can’t shut down on — for the rest of my life is crazy to me. That when we argue, I can’t leave the house or shut down for a day. But I wouldn’t want that. I want to enjoy living with you so much that whenever you’re out of the house or I’m out, I either can’t wait to be back there or I’m eagerly expecting your return. I want to look forward to merely seeing you daily.
My mom talks to me about marriage a lot, and I’ve been around married people enough to know that marriage is not always easy. I know that we will have fights and disagreements; some petty, some big enough to make us question our union and what the heck we were thinking when we decided to get married, but I hope that together, we work through it and resolve our issues with honesty, sincerity, wisdom, and maturity. I hope that we remember that we didn’t get married just because of the mere feeling of love. I hope we remember it was a decision. A decision we will still have to make everyday.
Similar to what Paul wrote to the Corinthian church at the ending of one of the chapters, about the other things, we will settle when you come. In the mean time, I’m praying for you.
Ife.
P.S. My fingers are currently small and slim, and they’ve been that way for as long as I can remember. Dear Future Husband, I wish you luck finding a ring that perfectly fits my finger.
