God: Your academics will prosper. Supernaturally.
Me:… but how, though? I’m literally taking a Logic module.
That reaction? Mistake number one. However, I could argue that it was a reasonable reaction for someone who studies New Media Language. This means I get to study cool stuff like media culture, lexicology, creative writing, public speaking — all while studying a language on the side. I chose Spanish. Si, yo ahora comprendo y hablo espanol un poco. I never really understood how Logic got into the mix, so at first, this was what I thought Logic was all about:
Random person wearing red shoes: hey, look at these red shoes I bought!
Me: They’re fire. But you think they’re red. They’re actually blue, and I’ll prove it to you.
Boy, was I wrong.
After a few classes without an ability to grasp the concept of what was being taught and concluding that logic just might be illogical, I found myself in a place of extreme fear. Now, this is where mistake number two came in.
This fear led me to doubt what God had promised: Am I really going to pass this module? You said my academics will do well, but can You actually see what this is? Are You really going to come through for me on this one?
And this doubt led me to forcing my agendas and taking the wheel — studying deep into the night trying to learn it all on my own, watching YouTube videos, reading textbooks that weren’t even recommended to us. I started to think of how God’s promise would come to pass. I would take two and two, and try to think for God. Let me add here that I would actually pray about it and remind God of what He promised, but somewhere at the back of my mind, I just wasn’t sure. I was losing sleep, sometimes skipping meals, passing up the opportunity to just relax and laugh with my friends all because I thought I had to do it.
My first test came, and I passed it. Ate it up and left no crumbs, as we would say today. And somehow, something tugged at my heart that it wasn’t because I knew what I was doing— it was God.
Really cool.
Exams was approaching and I started panicking again. I would be studying and tears would freely trickle out of my eyes. I thought I was doomed. The night right before this logic exam was worse. I was a mess. Since I was mostly teaching myself, I really did think I could teach myself two new topics that night, but it was the worst decision ever. And to you who is a student reading this, do not think you can put off studying for exams and make up for it the night before. I’m not sure how well that will go down because hours later, I was drained and I gave up.
I’m going to cut the long story short here, but I passed my exam. I’m talking a 10 out of 10 (which ideally, I shouldn’t have gotten since I made a few mistakes here and there), so at the end of the day, I finished with a 100. Not a 95 or 99.5. A solid 100. I passed, and there was nothing normal about it. This was when I sat down to think about everything that had gone down concerning Logic during the semester. And that tugging on my heart came again, this time, even harder that the revelation of what really happened left me in total awe.
I didn’t pass because I studied.
Suddenly, I was reminded of the times after class I would go to a corner at the faculty, withdrawn and frustrated. I would look at the slides and genuinely try to make sense of what was on them, and then, for some strange reason, my lecturer would happen to be walking past that area. This happened about three times. I thought about the times he would ask me a question in class, but I would always try to give an answer despite the fact that I didn’t always know the answer. My logic lecturer was a tall man whose nose was so pointed, his face mask never actually fit on it, and after every class, he would sit in the classroom for our 30-minute break and work on his laptop. Since Logic was somewhat a difficult module, I’m not sure he was very liked by my classmates, and so, one day during the break, I was led to walk up to him to ask just one question.
“Who on earth goes to the university to study Logic?”
He laughed, and from there, we had a long conversation. He got to a point where he talked about how he actually had to come from another city once a week (every week) just to teach my study group.
Thank him. The voice came like a whisper, and next thing, I found myself saying,
“Thank you so much for the sacrifice. I appreciate it.”
He looked pleased, in fact, almost shy — and he nodded.
It was right here, that God made it clear to me.
It was favour that got me through Logic. Not my studying or by doing too much. Just favour. He had orchestrated those events that I paid no importance to, and won me the favour of my lecturer.
It reminded me of Esther in the Bible, and I’m not playing when I say that I’ve always felt a connection to her. Not because that’s actually my second name or because I dressed up as the queen for Bible Character Day in primary school, but I’ve been doing a study on the book of Esther recently. That woman was favoured, and it always surprised me how… she was just liked. Like a charm.
Look:
Hegai liked Esther, and she won his favor. He lost no time in beginning her beauty treatment of massage and special diet. He gave her the best place in the harem and assigned seven young women specially chosen from the royal palace to serve her.
Esther 2:9 (Good News Translation)
see this one too…
The king liked her more than any of the other women, and more than any of the others she won his favor and affection. He placed the royal crown on her head and made her queen in place of Vashti.
Esther 2:17 (Good News Translation)
Again, like a charm. How was she just liked? This is how favour works .There’s no explanation for it, but it takes God to make people interested in you. Why? Because nobody loves you by default. And because we are God’s children, we can enjoy favour. Favour is God deciding to partner with man to provide you help and assistance. It is God raising people to invest their time, resources, credibility over your life.
Trust God, the actual logician, to strategically put you in positions that will work out for your own good even when it seems impossible or even when it’s clear that you’re undeserving. It is similar to His grace and mercy. I was listening to Apostle Joshua Selman once, and this what he said concerning favour, “In God, the race is not for the swift, the battle is not for the strong. It may seem unfair, but that’s just how it works.”
